I’d like to tell it to go away and come back… never, as if Cancer considers it’s timing. I have had winters of discontent, and this has most definitely been a summer of discontent. In addition to maintaining a full time job, taking on two extra teaching assignments this summer and taking my last set of scheduled courses toward a Doctorate degree, we’ve also been managing this new thing.
In some ways the extra work is a welcome distraction. Unfortunately, I’m not doing a very good job of anything right now.
Each day is a new day and every day I wake up determined to take today for what it is. However, at times, the stress has felt unbearable. I bark at my children, I’m frustrated at work, and every other word coming out of my mouth sounds like a swear word. Nothing feels productive and yet, I’m busy all the time.
It’s a very strange dissonance to know I should have some sort of ‘feelings’ about this and have neither the time nor the inclination to ponder this concept. I wonder if there is a part of me who thinks if I’m not emotionally impacted, then maybe it isn’t really happening.